I don’t think the teenage years have to be as rough as they are. The moodiness, secrets, and parent-hating are a symptom of our society and culture.
Kids deserve parents who real about their past, their fuck ups, the sexual life, and their drug use. Otherwise, parents are setting their kids up for failure.
Maybe the teenage phase as we know it wouldn’t exist if parents raised their children in an honest and open environment. Perhaps young people wouldn’t rebel against their parents if those parents respected their kids’ power of perception. One of the biggest most significant adults do to kids is not telling them the truth. Kids know when they are being lied to. They know when adults are offering platitudes rather than truth.